In this video, we explore 3 powerful tips for positive body image. Learn more in our Sisterhood



Coming up, three powerful steps to positive self-image!

Hi, this is Victoria Vives Khuong and this is the Divine Sexuality podcast where women learn to tap into ecstasy in relationships, out-of-this world multi-orgasmic sex and achieve phenomenal success in their careers by tapping into their creative force that is sexuality.

Today we’re talking about something that many of us women have in our minds day in and day out: body image. What do i know about image issues? I grew up in a time and place where the standard of beauty was white and I only met my first black friends when I was about to turn 14.

How does body image affect our sexuality? When we have negative feelings about our appearance or we see others negatively evaluating our appearance, our ability to have sexual desire and arousal are decreased. Thus, in order to have a healthy and fulfilling sexual life, we need to resolve this. So here are 3 Powerful Steps to Positive Self-Image! 

#1 Move Beyond Conditioning:

The only reason why we might feel inadequate in any way is because of our conditioning. We are seeing all day, every day, in the media, in television, magazines, movies and now even social media, the ideals,
the standards for beauty. So we evaluate ourselves and our value by comparing with those standards, instead to just fully embrace who we are because we are unique.
To put things into perspective, just in the US over $70 billion are spent on a yearly basis on weight loss and over $16.5 billion were spent in 2018 on plastic surgery.

Now imagine that we would compare ourselves to the standard of beauty of the 17th century, for example. The Three Graces by Rubens. Imagine that all the women that we see in magazines, in the media, all the women that we admire in the film industry with their cellulite, their belly… Now imagine that because we are seeing this standard of beauty we go to have plastic surgery so that we can put some chubbiness, some belly, some cellulite and fit that standard of beauty. How weird would that be? Why would we compare ourselves and put ourselves through surgeries or dieting or exercising solely to fit a standard? That is not a healthy choice.

Now, if somebody is feeling not with vitality enough or agility enough, or their fitness level is not the one that they want, okay, yes please, let’s exercise, let’s do anything necessary to be stronger, healthier, but not just to match a standard that
somebody created.

So this is all about conditioning, and we can start a trend together, this trend that has already awakened, in which we start embracing exactly who we are and how we look, in which the richness and the diversity can be celebrated. Are you in?

#2 Choose Empowering Relationships:

The people you have around you can tip the scale as to whether you focus more on your flaws or on your positive aspects. So we want to make sure that we keep an environment that is empowering, especially, especially, when it comes to our beloved.
Growing up, like many girls, I would read princess books like Cinderella, Snow White… and I knew that I was not looking the same that they did, but I didn’t care, I just had that spirit of “I’m a princess.” So I had this boyfriend and he was like “Yeah right, the princess of the hair of straw” and I was like “Oh, my goodness! You totally burst my bubble.”

Now I understand that he had some insecurities and, by pushing me down, he would feel a little better about himself. That added to the insecurity I had about my hair. Working as a model, working in television, I was normally directed to straighten my hair, wear wigs, extensions, so that I match the ideal of beauty in Spain, which at that time was mostly white.

So this can happen and please make sure, if there has been somebody in your life that is pointing at something like a flaw in yourself and it’s not necessarily so, make sure to not carry that burden and start loving that part of yourself, just honoring that part of yourself.

At a point, I decided “Enough is enough! I’m going to start embracing my hair” and guess what? I found my husband who absolutely adored my hair and he didn’t have the conditioning I had growing up so he encouraged me so much and he was fundamental for me to embrace my hair and feel good about it…

body image…and then I started getting compliments in the street, people would tell me “Oh, I love your hair” and this is how I was able to feel that empowerment. That’s what I mean about empowering relationships! He chooses you because he likes you. So let’s choose men that are able to openly express how they like us. More on that on the “Bad Boys Good Boys” video up here, and with this we get to…


#3 Celebrate Yourself:

Yes, not just like yourself but celebrate yourself!  Realize that this is the physical vessel that we are given, mesmerize at the feeling of having a physical body, just the perfection of feeling all through our senses and it’s all about our bodies not just looking in a certain way but allowing us to move through the world, through our connection with others, walking on the streets, singing, dancing, whatever we are doing, it’s just incredible!
So celebrating that we have these bodies, that we are alive, it’s so much more important and sometimes, we have so many beautiful talents, so many amazing character traits inside of ourselves, but they don’t shine because we don’t allow them, because we are forgetting that our facade is not the only thing that matters and, sometimes, we are covering it by not allowing ourselves to shine in that way.

So let’s make sure to start focusing on other things that are not just how we look physically, but how is the sound of your voice, how is your movement, how is your kindness toward others maybe you have a style of how you wear clothes that is different from others, maybe people really appreciate your friendship or your thoughtfulness, what are the things that are especially unique about you and that’s your beauty!  It’s not only the outside but it’s the inside, so allow that to shine through and that’s what we can embrace on a daily basis.

And I would love for people to be able to just say “I’m beautiful”, “I love myself” so sometimes I practice that and sometimes I feel it and I’m like “Oh my goodness! If somebody would hear me, they would say oh you’re so arrogant” but it’s not about that. We need to celebrate that, the same that we say sometimes that we are embarrassed about “Oh, I’m fat” or “I’m this” or “I’m that”… no, no, let’s celebrate ourselves publicly. So let’s say to each other, you know, “I feel beautiful today!” “I’m gorgeous” “Oh my god, I’m so hot!”  Whatever! Just express also that! Even if it is for your own self in front of your mirror, just start loving yourself, start really honoring yourself, so that all that negative conditioning from before we can start changing it and paying
attention on the things that are not the average beauty or the external beauty.

This has been 3 Powerful Steps to Positive Self-Image!  As always I’m super excited to start the conversation and, as always, the conversation continues thanks to you in the comments. More on Divine Sexuality, right here:

 This has been the Divine Sexuality Podcast. I believe that it is by healing trauma and redefining misconceptions, that we achieve ecstasy, profound intimacy in relationships and out-of-this-world multi-orgasmic sex.  This is Victoria Vives Khuong and I look forward to connecting with you soon!  I love you. Muah!


0:00 Intro
0:26 Body Image
0:34 My Own Body Image Issues
0:46 How Does Body Image Affect Our Sexuality
1:09 3 Powerful Steps to Positive Self-Image
1:13 #1 Move Beyond Conditioning
1:48 Body Image Statistics
2:04 The Truth About Body Image Standards
2:53 Healthy Reasons To Start Diet Or Exercising
3:14 The New Body Image Trend!
3:32 #2 Chose Empowering Relationships
3:53 Princess Dreams & Body Image
4:18 Body Image Insecurity In Relationships
5:06 Supportive Relationships for Positive Body Image
5:58: #3 Celebrate Yourself!
6:15 The True Gift Of Your Body
6:43 Discover Your True Beauty
7:43 Express Your Self-Love Without Shame
8:37 Next Steps and Completion


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COMMUNITY: Divine Sexuality community
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Author: Victoria Vives

Victoria Vives Khuong is the International bestselling Author of “In a Matter of Seconds”, healing and shamanism teacher, spiritual leader, and host of the Divine Sexuality podcast.

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